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Current Mood

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peaceful

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We went to Dave & Busters for dinner, went to Blockbuster but didnt find anything,
then came home and I gave him a massage.  Sweet evening. :) 

[	Current Mood	|	happy	]
[	Current Music	|	Cage 9 - Dead Letter	]

Mom woke me up at 7:30 this morning so I could shower and help her move things for the carpet people to come (she's getting her carpet replaced today). 
We had to turn the thermostat down to 65 so it was cooooold and I cuddled up in a blanket with Romeo after we were done.  :) 
My sister finally woke up and came downstairs and after a bit the carpet guys came.
She was going to leave to go to Bread Co. but she changed her mind and decided to hang out.
So she, Mom, Kirk (mom's boyfriend's son, basically my step-brother) and I hung out for a little while watching TV.
We all wanted a cigarette and a soda so Mom and I went to Walgreens and got stuff.
We got soda for them and I got Arizona Green Tea :)  Then Mom brought out her candy stash and we ate jelly beans and Dove chocolate while Kirk busted out 'Grandma's Boy' and we watched that and smoked a little and drank our drinks.
After the movie was over Mom went and got us Taco Bell for lunch... I had yummy bean buritos :D  And we watched the ending of 'Tremors' on TV.  Classic.
Then I was getting bored and wanted to go home so Mom took me to Schnucks and Aldi so I could get some groceries since I'm starting a diet/restriction.  And I have even more motivation for that now because my sister told me that my family probably wont go to Branson this year like we always do - instead we might be going somewhere along the Gulf of Mexico! :D  So I need to get bathing suit ready.  Its unnacceptable for me to go to a beach somewhere at this weight.
Anyway, after grocery shopping Mom brought me home and I cleaned :D
Now I watch Dr Phil and nibble cashews! :D

• Get a job.
• Pay for Ticket A to be dealt with by April 14th.
• Research and apply for health care assistance, Medicaid or something.
• Reactivate cell phone.
• Research bad-credit auto loans.  Save for a car.
• Deal with Tickets B and C.
• Get a car.
• Go back to Petropolis. (Maybe.)
• Save for an apartment.
• Lose 45 lbs.

I had Dairy Queen and watched 'I am Legend'.  Yum food, good movie. :)  I didnt like the ending so much, but whatever.  I expected something more... legendary?  lol  I dont know.  Overall it was good though.

I've got a contest to write for now so hopefully the creative juices will get flowing.  And my sister loaned me her copy of The Chronicles of Narnia, so I'm going to read that.  And I have to get to moving my stuff from Grandma's and I have a new job... I've gone from nothing to do to having a full schedule.  I like it :)

[

Current Mood

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mellow

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Mom picked me up this morning and she took me to get my drug test (I had to get one for Petsmart).  Then we came back to her house and I looked through some of her old clothes she's throwing out.  I got a decent jacket and a nice purse out of it.  Then we went to Marshals and TJ Max and I got new tennis shoes :D  We're going to hang out and stoof and maybe watch I Am Legend and eat hamburger helper.

And I got my stimulus check :D  $300!  I'm happy.

Its raining pretty outside :)

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
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3) What talent do you wish you had?
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4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
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6) What was the last book you read?
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7) What zodiac sign are you?
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8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
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9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
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14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
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18) What was your first impression of me?
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19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
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21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
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22) What color eyes do you have?
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23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
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27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
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28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
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30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
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32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
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33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.

[

Current Mood

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excited

]

 GUESS WHO GOT A JOOOOOOOBBBBBBB!!!!  :D

I'm a new groomer at Petsmart :D

I have an interview tomorrow at Petsmart!! :D :D :D

[

Current Mood

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cold

]

Ryan drove me to Petco and Blockbuster and Petsmart and I gave them my resumes and talked to managers.  I'd really like to get the Petsmart job but that would require getting a bus pass...  Petco is sort of in walking distance, but Petco is like the trashy whore sister of Petsmart, so I dont really want to work there as bad.  But we'll see.  I'll take what I can get.  

We got "Cloverfield" from Blockbuster and then went to Bandana's for lunch.  I had yummy bar-b-q turkey and fries and gooood garlic bread.  Then we stopped at his work to pick up leftover pizza he had ordered I guess yesterday.  That'll be our dinner.

So he just finished mowing the lawn while I applied to more places online.

[	Current Mood	|	numb	]
[	Current Music	|	Massive Attack - Teardrop	]

I'm fat.  I'm mentally unstable.  I have an eating disorder.  I cut.  I'm a whore.  I'm a mess emotionally, mentally, phsycially and financially.  I'm a mess, period.  I have nothing to offer.  Oh wait, I've been told I'm a good fuck.  But that doesnt count.

I have nothing to offer.  And I should have expected this.  I'm so experienced with rejection and disappointment I should see the damn thing coming a mile away.  I have kept myself under control for so long, why let my hopes up this time?  Its pathetic, really.  Giggling like a little girl, imaging the future, for once in a very long time wanting - and thinking I might actually get - more than my life currently holds...  I let it get to me.  I havent let that shit get to me for years.

So what now?

We had the conversation over IM and it went about as I expected.  Hated having it.  Glad its over.  Still watching that damn awesome video posted below lol.