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[Jun. 17th, 2005|06:48 am] |
I did not post yesterday because yesterday was a fairly uneventful day. I played SL all day and took a nap. I also had a doctors appointment. Went to that. Then we celebrated Sam's birthday and had cake. Then I got on the computer, played a little more SL, talked to some people online, and went to sleep.
One of the people I spoke to was one of my old friends. Didnt realize how much I missed her. She's great. I fell asleep last night thinking about her and the conversation we had had a few minutes before. I woke up and was thinking about her again. See, I had a crush on her when we were friends before. And now that we are talking again, I am liking her again. I keep thinking about her and it makes me giggly. I giggled last night after we talked! Just because! Nothing was funny, I just did. I don't usually giggle. Especially considering how depressed I have been lately. But she has that effect on me.
Then this morning, thinking about her and thinking about how much I think of her led to thoughts of Jeff. I felt this way when we first met. And for most of our relationship. And I wanted to feel it again... but he found someone else by the time I realized it.
So am I getting super attached to this woman, even though there is a huge age difference that will cause problems later, because I am on the rebound? I want to move on, I don't want to spend very long thinking of Jeff and wondering what he is doing and wondering what he is thinking and wondering if he is with her because I can't! It hurts. I miss him.
But damn I like her. |
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[Jun. 17th, 2005|08:37 pm] |
Why did he have to im me? Why did he have to call me that?
The man who called me Princess loved me... he cherished me... he would have waited for me... the man who called me that promised to wait for me, and didn't... the man who called me that would never have thought of being with someone else...
The guy who called me that loved me...
He imed me. Tried to talk and all I wanted to do was argue with him. All I still want to do is argue with him. All I want to do is yell at him, at the top of my lungs (if im could carry that) "WHY DIDNT YOU WAIT LIKE YOU PROMISED?!?! WHY AM I NOT WORTH STICKING AROUND FOR??"
But he didnt want to argue. So I told him unless he wanted to argue, or unless he wanted to let me yell at him, that he would have to leave me alone.
I have to get over him... I don't like hurting like this because of him... |
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[Jun. 17th, 2005|08:50 pm] |
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS??? WHY DOES EVERY MAN I LOVE DECIDE TO LEAVE ME???
why does it have to hurt so bad... why do i have to keep crying...
god i want to cut my heart out... if it will stop the pain, i would do it... but its not just my heart, its my whole body and soul. everything hurts when i think about him and when i talk to him and think about what i dont have anymore. |
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