| Thats it, then. |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|02:51 pm] |
Well so much for that. Today is going ok, I guess. Going pretty slow, but mellow. John actually came online, but it didnt go well. I'm a little pissed and I'm not going to apologize for it. So thats that. Its over I guess.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. |
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| I want to have purpose... |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|09:58 pm] |
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| |  nervous | ] |
I am torn right now. This fear of failing, making myself look stupid or something, really has me right now. But I know I have to do something. Another episode of Inked tonight and I feel more motivated. Well, maybe not motivated... called, I think is a better word. I feel like every time I get discouraged or start to think Thats a stupid idea, find a real job, something happens to makek me feel like it is what I should do. I think about why I want to do it and it does seem like a good idea - I'm good at art (or so I'm told), I love to draw, I like tattoos, I like the environment, the people seem cool, it seems like a good way to make money off art. Then the fear creeps up - I'm not that good of an artist, in fact I'll probably suck as a tattoo artist, I'll fuck up and not only look stupid but piss someone off incredibly...
But I need to do something. If I am going to do this I need to get going. I really need the money now. And as an apprentice I dont think I'll be paid, so I have to get started cuz the sooner I get to tattooing the sooner I get money. And I really need the money. I'm digging myself further into debt.
I just need to gather the courage to do something to dig myself out. |
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[Jan. 11th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
Ok. Boyfriend troubles are fixed. You better keep your promise! Or someone else will get this cutie sub bootie! *shakes it*
And yes. A lunch trip to All Star I think I will take. See if an apprentice someone is willing to have. ;)~ |
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