| So this is bottom... |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|11:51 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sarah McLachlan - Fallen | ] |
I was fired on Tuesday. Because I wasnt performing like I used to, because of my eating disorder. And because I was fired, Dad is kicking me out. Mom wont take me in and I dont know about Grandpa, I'll find out later today. But I'm betting the answer is no. And so, I either have to find a place that needs a roomate or I'll be going to a homeless shelter.... I dont know what to do. So many times in the past fourty eight hours have I seriously considered suicide. I'm in debt I cant pay, no one wants me anywhere near them, I'm seperated from my babies, I cant control my eating disorder, I have no job and so have no insurance anymore, I have no car and soon will have no place to live. I have no idea what to do and I feel paralyzed with fear about the whole situation.
I had Lisa take me to the library today though, which is where I am right now (god forbid I use their computer). And I've gotten some work done. Some leads on people looking for free-rent roomates in exchange for housework and stuff. So that would be ideal. But we'll see. |
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| He is just so fucking impossible. |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
Dad got home from work and sprang it on me that I had to be out tonight. Called the homeless hotline but they were all full for the night. I called my Grandma and thankfully she is letting me stay with her and Bob for a few days until I can find somewhere to go. So thats where I am right now. Not the ideal situation, but I guess its better. They will actually help me get some things in order - not do it for me, nor completely leave me on my own.
Anyway, Bob made me his famous pancakes (cuz Lisa and Dad I guess decided not to eat tonight) and now I'm really tired. Bed soon, for sure. |
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