| Good at only one thing. |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|12:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
RANT ON:
What the fuck was I suppose to do?? I'm not ready for that shit. I'm not ready to do that again - I've got some respect for myself, thanks. I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of, shit he doesnt know about yet - that this journal doesnt even know about yet - because I'm too chicken shit to tell anyone. Because I'm too ashamed. No one knows about it. Only Mom. And if I could turn back time I never would have told her for the shame I have of it. Not that she has ever rubbed it in my face, she's been fantastic about it, but its all in my head. But I dont want to do that here. I dont want it to feel like all those times.
But apparently I did the wrong thing because two minutes later he's up and away. Why cant I stop cringing at the touch?? Why cant I have my old body and confidence back?? Dont I fucking deserve to have that??
Fuck.
RANT OFF. |
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[Apr. 25th, 2008|10:38 am] |
I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut. Or my fingers still, rather. He read the post and wants to talk about it. The conversation I do NOT want to have.
And the preconversation we just had... I think I just fucked everything up. >:( |
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| Hot damn! |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|02:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
This is the most amazing shit I've ever seen. *dances*
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[Apr. 25th, 2008|04:47 pm] |
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We had the conversation over IM and it went about as I expected. Hated having it. Glad its over. Still watching that damn awesome video posted below lol. |
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