| Current mood: |  numb |
| Current music: | Massive Attack - Teardrop |
Such a stupid Stephy.
I'm fat. I'm mentally unstable. I have an eating disorder. I cut. I'm a whore. I'm a mess emotionally, mentally, phsycially and financially. I'm a mess, period. I have nothing to offer. Oh wait, I've been told I'm a good fuck. But that doesnt count.
I have nothing to offer. And I should have expected this. I'm so experienced with rejection and disappointment I should see the damn thing coming a mile away. I have kept myself under control for so long, why let my hopes up this time? Its pathetic, really. Giggling like a little girl, imaging the future, for once in a very long time wanting - and thinking I might actually get - more than my life currently holds... I let it get to me. I havent let that shit get to me for years.
So what now?
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sissani) wrote,
